Attentive listening can improve others’ memory!
Did you know that the amount of attention we offer others during conversation impacts their long-term memory?!
I recently tuned into a Hidden Brain podcast episode called Are You Listening?. Within it, the host Shankar Vedantam references a social science study titled How What We Tell Becomes What We Know: Listener Effects on Speakers’ Long-Term Memory for Events, by Pasupathi, Stallworth, and Murdoch (1998).
While not a new study, the learnings have implications for our day-to-day social behaviors. In this post, we’ll dive into the details of study, discuss their implications and share tips to become a more attentive listener.
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The study details
College students watched movie clips and were asked to recount movie clips to one of three listener types. Researchers then compared the students' long-term memories of the clips (3 weeks later).
Students recalled the movie clips to either:
An attentive listener (make eye contact, occasionally nod or say ‘mm-mmm’)
Distracted listener (attempting to do another task)
No listener (control group- speaker did not verbally recount the clips at all)
Findings
#1 Attentive listening improves others’ long-term memory
[Students] with an attentive listener enhanced their recall of the events they narrated… A distracted listener, by contrast, was not helpful over having no listener at all (i.e., not recounting the events).
What! Of course, we know that attentive listening improves our own memory, but who knew that it also improves the memory of others.
Listener's attentiveness matters particularly in an era when our attention spans have been shrinking for the past two decades, according to Dr. Gloria Mark, psychologist and professor of informatics at UC Irvine and author of Attention Span.
Our attentiveness influences others’ ability to process and remember shared experiences, reminding us that listening and memory are collaborative acts. Having influence over others’ memory development is quite powerful.
Takeaway: Your attention has a ripple effect on those around you.
#2 The attention we offer shapes the information we receive
Attentive listeners elicit more novel and more elaborative information than do distracted listeners.
We often assume our attention drifts simply because we’re disinterested. But this study reminds us that our attention directly impacts how much novelty the speaker brings to the conversation.
Even if we are not speaking, we are not passive participants in conversations. Ironically, this means that expecting a discussion to be dull might actually make it so… a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Takeaway: You get what you put in
Conclusion
Humans are inherently social beings, and our attention has a ripple effect on those around us. Alongside Dr. Gloria Mark’s research on shrinking attention spans, the mental health crisis brings additional challenges with memory. Conditions like anxiety and ADHD disrupt memory by affecting attention and brain function, making our ability to be present for others all the more powerful.
Behavior change is a team effort, and this research empowers us to make small, impactful changes to support ourselves and others. We thrive when we uplift.
